OK, after having gotten so many positive (oral) comments from people on my original post and the comic feedback I got from people just when I shared its title, I think I've decided this will be the title of a new series of posts I will create when I hear something I find completely absurd.
This time around, I am pointing my (trigger happy?) sights on Peter Misek of Canaccord Adams who in a Reuters article asserts that Microsoft should consider buying out RIM. Lord help us...
I don't even know where to begin on this one. I really don't. Do I just go off on a tirade around the financial meltdown and how a) I don't think it's over yet or b) while there are great deals coming through the pipeline because of these unnaturaly low values this isn't one (yet)or c) Microsoft has also gotten battered through these few weeks and has its share value also badly beaten down that would make it that much more expensive (relatively speaking) to do a cash and stock deal or d) it needs to think about acquiring other companies for other headaches it's dealing with.
So let's look at one of the better quotes from the article.
"RIM is a massive strategic fit" for Microsoft, said Canaccord Adams analyst Peter Misek. "I'm fairly certain they have a standing offer to buy them at $50 (a share)."
Others were more polite than I would ever care to be on this one. How the hell is RIM a "massive strategic fit" for Microsoft??? This is like saying Android and Symbian should merge. Besides, I've already predicted for you the future where RIM and the spun off iPhone are going to merge. Remember? So help me understand the fit:
- RIM and Microsoft both make an important mobile operating system that have strong penetration within enterprises. What does Microsoft gain for the ~$30b?
- Both companies are looking to find ways to make their operating systems, historically geared to the enterprise more consumer friendly. Thank the iPhone for that, but these two behemoths started to understand that professionals are also consumers and they want things (including mobile devices) that look cool and are easy to use. OK, who wins the UI battle? HTC?
- Both platforms have their individual strengths and weaknesses. Microsoft, can you please improve the bootup speed and make the battery on your licensees' phones last longer? RIM, how's about a more intuitive interface? I'm not talking about pretty, I'm just talking about how the heck you decide where functions are? And can you make it a little less buggy? Thanks!
- Email? Hmm, I think RIM does that pretty damn well, thank you very much and Microsoft may know a thing or two about how Exchange works too. Oh that's right! They MAKE Exchange! I furgot...
- Devices?
- Web browsing experience? Both camps leave something to be desired IMHO.
Devices? (yes, I said that a 2nd time) OK, so Eric Zeman over at Information Week and I don't see eye to eye on this one. He says:
"Microsoft is in the business of licensing its own smartphone platform -- Windows Mobile -- to handset manufacturers. That's its mobile enterprise play. In fact, Microsoft recently reiterated that strategy by saying that the licensing model would remain in effect and it won't give away its software for free."
I seem to recall that train of thought when Microsoft got into the MP3 player business. All the manufacturers made devices that were just BAD. They were awful. None got anywhere near the iPod. And then along came Zune. It's not that I think the Zune is fantastic (hell, I have an iPod Touch). My point is there is precedence from the Redmondians to do this kind of thing, so I wouldn't rule Microsoft getting into the device game completely out. However, there are a large number of OEMs/ODMs making some nice hardware in the Windows Mobile world that doesn't warrant them getting into it (yet).
So what does that leave us? The user base? That was my first bullet. Is RIM's userbase worth $30 billion, give or take an odd billion? Still don't see it. Besides, there are enough people out there who LOVE their BlackBerries whose cold dead hands you would have to wrestle the phone out of. Remember the term CrackBerry? Either you like the Windows Mobile UI or you don't. Same goes with the CrackBerry UI.
So as opposed to wasting a cool $30 large (and I mean LARGE), where can Microsoft invest some coin to push the mobility space? I have a few ideas:
- Get Windows Mobile 7 out the door yesterday, making it a great user experience (help me understand why menus aren't in the same place on Smartphone edition as they are in the Professional edition).
- Get all the cool eye-candy that you can find on the iPhone, but make it a Windows experience.
- Hell, I'll argue that even if they don't brand it as such, Microsoft should start thinking about Windows Mobile as Windows - mobile edition. You heard me, take out the word "Mobile" from Windows Mobile, put it in lower case in a smaller font size and leverage the juggernaut of the Windows brand through and through.
- Make the stuff just work better
- Make it boot up faster
- Make the user experience snappier
- Make it less use less RAM and also make it use less battery. Hell, make it a "Green" thing....I don't care.
- Give me a proper browser. I know, a new pocket IE is coming out some time between now and whenever Windows Mobile 7 is fully baked, but I want it NOW.
- Make Live Services work flawlessly on the platform. My Live Search (great app, btw) can't seem to ever connect to the GPS on my device. Google Maps has no problem doing it, so why can't Live Search do it?
- Back to the UI - make it RAWCK - make the apps that run on the device look cool. A friend of mine has a new iPhone 3G and he built HIMSELF a cool app in ONE day that just looked so damn cool because he leveraged the iPhone's SDK to make it look purrrty.
There are some really smart people at Microsoft who have developed some wonderfully innovative things in the past... Stop the (alleged) work by consensus mentality (think Vista development) and just go build some great stuff for users, OEMs, users, developers and oh ya, USERS. You've got the ecosystem thing down already, so just go do it. I've said a thousand times that enterprise mobility is moving more and more into the world of traditional IT computing, and my sense is, Microsoft knows a thing or two about that world.
So go do it. As opposed to spending $30 billion in Canadia, go spend a couple of billion on "Windows (mobile edition)." Hell, let me get the ball rolling for you. I even used my uber sophisticated Photoshop skills to create a mock up for ya! Now go share a couple of MILLION (notice how I switched the B for a M?) with me for my genious ideas and get on with it. Go do it.
